So, seriously. What is a girl to do when she finds out that she is one of the unlucky few to receive the bad news that she is getting laid off? Personally, I cried like my dog died. I know, I know - extremely unprofessional, apparently. However, I can’t say that I care all that much. Crying is the only way I knew how to cope, so crying I did.
So when HR Rep told me that I needed to calm down because she had information for me, I just got even more upset. When someone tells me to “calm down” I usually just do the opposite – I cried more. I wasn’t intentionally trying to make Director Man and HR Rep uncomfortable, but my filter disappeared the second he said my last day was going to be March 5th.*
Anything I was thinking was blurting out of my mouth – even the fact that I just bought a brand new car 2 weeks ago and Director Man KNEW I was buying a car and didn’t say anything. I thanked him for this. It isn't like he just pulled my name out of a hat and was like, "OH, darn. It's Stacey."
Also, being the light-hearted, up-beat person I am, was trying to make jokes at my own expense, saying I didn’t wake up this morning thinking today was going to be the day I got laid off. HR Rep said, “No one wakes up knowing they are going to get laid off…” I said, “Well there were a couple days in December I was pretty sure I was going to get the ax.” These people must not have any type of sense of humor. (Yes, I do understand that I was still bawling my eyes out at this point but come on! Give a girl a pity chuckle or something.)
The kicker of the whole meeting was when I was trying to stop crying and I said, “Wow, this is really hard.” HR Rep: “Well, this is really hard on us too.” I’m sorry to say here that I DON’T CARE HOW YOU FEEL! YOU STILL HAVE A JOB! I wish I would have said that. I didn’t. I’ll have to wait for next time, I guess.
I’m going to fast forward here and just say that this meeting did not go very well. I felt like I was being treated like I was four-year-old instead of the 25-year-old that I am. This usually does not go over well with me. Usually though, I don’t say anything and I just take it. Not this time, though. After feeling like I was being rushed out of the office to leave for the day, I was reminded that I was still in a professional environment and that I should remember to conduct myself in a professional manner. (This is after I was bust out in tears for the past 30 minutes.) I couldn’t help myself when I said right back at her, “Do you think I am going to run down the row screaming hysterically? Screaming that I just got laid-off? Please give me a little more credit than that,” and I left. (I give myself a mental pat on the back every time I think of this.)
This is more on this topic but I think I might freak out if I keep thinking about it.
What is the lesson of all this? Change. I get to reinvent myself. I have nothing holding me back. So, I'm going for it. I'm changing.
*Yes, March 5. Please don’t ask me why I have to sit here for the next 2 months knowing that I don’t have a job anymore and that I will not be receiving any new work from now until the end. This isn’t limbo, it’s hell on earth.
So when HR Rep told me that I needed to calm down because she had information for me, I just got even more upset. When someone tells me to “calm down” I usually just do the opposite – I cried more. I wasn’t intentionally trying to make Director Man and HR Rep uncomfortable, but my filter disappeared the second he said my last day was going to be March 5th.*
Anything I was thinking was blurting out of my mouth – even the fact that I just bought a brand new car 2 weeks ago and Director Man KNEW I was buying a car and didn’t say anything. I thanked him for this. It isn't like he just pulled my name out of a hat and was like, "OH, darn. It's Stacey."
Also, being the light-hearted, up-beat person I am, was trying to make jokes at my own expense, saying I didn’t wake up this morning thinking today was going to be the day I got laid off. HR Rep said, “No one wakes up knowing they are going to get laid off…” I said, “Well there were a couple days in December I was pretty sure I was going to get the ax.” These people must not have any type of sense of humor. (Yes, I do understand that I was still bawling my eyes out at this point but come on! Give a girl a pity chuckle or something.)
The kicker of the whole meeting was when I was trying to stop crying and I said, “Wow, this is really hard.” HR Rep: “Well, this is really hard on us too.” I’m sorry to say here that I DON’T CARE HOW YOU FEEL! YOU STILL HAVE A JOB! I wish I would have said that. I didn’t. I’ll have to wait for next time, I guess.
I’m going to fast forward here and just say that this meeting did not go very well. I felt like I was being treated like I was four-year-old instead of the 25-year-old that I am. This usually does not go over well with me. Usually though, I don’t say anything and I just take it. Not this time, though. After feeling like I was being rushed out of the office to leave for the day, I was reminded that I was still in a professional environment and that I should remember to conduct myself in a professional manner. (This is after I was bust out in tears for the past 30 minutes.) I couldn’t help myself when I said right back at her, “Do you think I am going to run down the row screaming hysterically? Screaming that I just got laid-off? Please give me a little more credit than that,” and I left. (I give myself a mental pat on the back every time I think of this.)
This is more on this topic but I think I might freak out if I keep thinking about it.
What is the lesson of all this? Change. I get to reinvent myself. I have nothing holding me back. So, I'm going for it. I'm changing.
*Yes, March 5. Please don’t ask me why I have to sit here for the next 2 months knowing that I don’t have a job anymore and that I will not be receiving any new work from now until the end. This isn’t limbo, it’s hell on earth.
1 comments:
Yes, there is always a bright side of things (easy for me to say huh) but there is...everything happens for a reason. Take this experience as just that "an experience" and keep on moving.
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